I'm fine

I’m fine – I hate this phrase with every fiber in my body.  “I’m fine” is one of the most overused and general responses to the questions, “Are you okay?” and “How are you?”

I’m fine – What does that even mean?  I say it all the time, yet I question myself, “Danielle what are you saying, what do you mean, you’re fine?”

If I had a quarter for every time I said I’m fine and actually meant it I could probably buy myself a descent meal, and I might even have some money left over for dessert.  However, if I had a quarter for every time I said I’m fine and didn’t mean it, I could probably buy a prom dress, get it altered, and get shoes, a purse, and jewelry to match.  So translation, when I say I’m fine I’m usually not.   

The thing that amazes me about this though is that when you say I’m fine so many people fail to realize that you’re not fine.  Or can they see that you’re not fine?  When people realize you’re not fine, do they overlook it because they’re giving you space or is it because they don’t care.  And on that subject, when people say, “How are you?” Do they actually really want to know or are they just being polite? Okay, sorry now I feel like I’m rambling. 

But anyway back to my point of being fine or not fine.  I was recently in a situation where a boy said to me, “Are you okay?” and I replied, “Yes, I’m fine and I will be fine.”  Translation – “I’m not fine, I wasn’t fine before and certainly won’t be fine now, you idiot.”  However he believed the answer I told him, and we moved on.  That’s what I’m talking about… no one ever knows that I’m NOT fine.  But then again I’m not the type of person who always wants people in my face asking me what’s wrong so I may be acting a bit hypocritical.      

One thing I know for sure though is that my Mom is one of the only people who knows what “I’m fine” means when I say it.  I don’t know how she does it but she’s right every time.  She knows exactly when I’m falling apart and helps me put the pieces back together.  Without her I wouldn’t be intact, I would literally be in pieces.  Thank God for Mom. 

So next time you or someone else says, “I’m fine,” think about it, what are you or that person really trying to say?